Why being underestimated and receiving negative feedback can be a good thing (Episode 190)

With Laura Cox Kaplan
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Show Notes

Title: Why being underestimated and getting negative feedback can be a good thing! Here are 5 things you can do (Episode 190)


Being underestimated and receiving negative (or downright mean) feedback, can feel terrible. We’ve all been there at one point or another, and it can do a real number on our confidence—- if we let it. Today’s podcast is about how we can leverage these experiences and actually use them to our advantage. 

Part of building and sustaining influence is about just that. Taking those experiences that are less positive and finding ways to reframe them so that we can find some value, and something that we can learn and use from the experience. 

Influence isn’t about allowing our anger or our disappointment over negative feedback to eat away at our confidence. So what can you do? 


  1. Make a list of what do you know and what are you good at. Keep the list handy, refer to it often, and update it regularly. 
  2. Don’t let anger cloud your objectivity, but use it to motivate you
  3. Look at feedback — including negative feedback — objectively and get some help to do this
  4. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from the feedback?” Does it illuminate any blind spots? 
  5. When possible, ask the person for more feedback. This does two things: gives you the benefit of additional feedback, and two puts you in the driver’s seat by asking questions. And there’s a bonus: asking the person for more feedback and input may also help you forge a relationship and connection with an unlikely ally or a previous critic. (This isn’t always possible, but can provide a very unique personal connection when it works!)


Friend, it never feels good to be underestimated or to receive negative feedback. While ignoring mean comments is both a reasonable and a smart thing to do, looking at constructive or negative feedback objectively can help us improve. But, the most important thing to remember about ALL feedback: it is NOT about your worth or your value as a person! 



I’d love to hear about your experiences with being underestimated or with receiving negative or critical feedback and what you did in response. Please share with me on Instagram. I’d love it if you could screenshot the episode and tag me in your stories, or DM me @LauraCoxKaplan or reach out via the contact link at SheSaidSheSaidPodcast.com 


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I’m grateful for YOU, friend, and look forward to hearing from you!  Until next week! Take care